I went to see my therapist yesterday and told her about all of the fears and worries that have been creeping into my mind recently (see last post). Her professional assessment of my mental state? PMS. That's right. My therapist diagnosed me as hormonal.
And I had to agree. Now is it actually PMS or is it baby related? Only time will tell. Time and pee sticks.
Speaking of which, all of this talk about preggie tests has reminded me of one of the first jokes I ever told as a stand-up comedian. Let me set the scene for you. I was a single, young twenty-something living in New York City. I'd done stand-up comedy approximately four times. Okay. That's all you need to know. Enjoy.
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"Most pregnancy tests are advertised for women who are trying to get pregnant. In the commercial they always show these happily married women looking so elated the moment they learn they are with child! But let's face it: there are a lot of women like me out there, who are not exactly thrilled when they have to purchase a pregnancy test. If I have to buy a pregnancy test, something has gone horribly horribly wrong. I think they need to start marketing the product to women like me, because let's face it, I know I'm not alone out there. So I came up with a few new names for them to try out:
First Response? That should be called Worst Response.
Fact Plus? Fucked Plus.
Clear Blue Easy? You Clearly Blew It, Sleazy."
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Comedy gold, I tell ya. Comedy gold.
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