False Alarm

We just returned home after being in Chicago for a week visiting my brother in-law's family and attending a friend's wedding. Lots to talk about, starting with the fact that the morning we flew out of LA, we were pretty damn certain we were pregnant. You would be too if you woke up and saw this:

Note the second, subtle pink line!

So, remember how I said we were going to wait until July to start officially trying to have a baby? Well, that's still true...with two itsy-bitsy, teeny-tiny exceptions. Our duo of adult-frolicking-sans-protection sessions happened sometime in mid- to late-May. In early June, I experienced a day full of strange cramping and subtle pressures followed by spotting. Thinking I was getting my period, I ran out to buy a box of tampons, but lo and behold, the bleeding stopped. We took one test and it told us we were not pregnant.

However, when Aunt Flo still hadn't arrived by the morning of our departure, I took a second test and boom! There it was: the second pink line!

Now, during my bachelorette years, I had my share of hypochondriac mornings when I mistook an extreme bout of gas for an unwanted pregnancy and would run out to buy a little stick to pee on. Fortunately for all parties involved, never once did I see even a hint of the second line. Never! So when the faded indication of fertilization appeared that morning, I was pretty convinced we were with child. Even more so when a second stick confirmed the result.

My reaction was stunned excitement tinged with disbelief and a need to call my OBGYN and set up an appointment for further confirmation. J's reaction can best be described as shock and awe. He had this big goofy grin on his face, a hint of terror behind his eyes, and every few minutes, he'd stop packing his suitcase, walk over and hug me. It was quite adorable, really.

I threw the baby book my friend, CM, gave me into my carry-on bag for a little light reading on the plane and packed a few snacks that I deemed to be preggy-friendly. Right away, life seemed to change and my mind flooded with questions. Should I drink my morning cup of black tea if it contains caffeine? Was the raw honey I added to combat my allergies safe to consume now? Could this be the reason the dress I was planning on wearing to the wedding felt tight when I tried it on? It must be! It couldn't have anything to do with the milkshake and hamburger I had for dinner the night before. Nah. Definitely the baby's fault.

The poor girl sitting beside us on the airplane must have been ready to throw-up from our nauseating display of affection. We were all kissy-kissy and cuddly-wuddly. We'd have moments where we'd just turn to each other and exclaim how we couldn't believe this was happening, and wonder if we should tell his brother or keep it a secret, and how everyone would probably figure something was up since I wouldn't be drinking at the wedding. Or at dinner. Or at brunch. Or in the garage hiding behind the car.

We decided to take one more test the next morning to confirm. And just like that, the second pink line was gone. Nowhere to be found. Poof. No more baby. The following morning, I got my period. And that was that.

I'm going to the OBGYN tomorrow to see if I can figure out what happened. I'm not worried in the least. My guess is it was a chemical pregnancy. Totally normal, totally fine. Overall, I found the whole crazy parents-for-a-day experience to be a good adventure. First, it let us know that we are probably, on some level, fertile considering we only "tried" three times and one of these attempts resulted in some sort of babymaking-related occurrence.

Second, it let me know that we are both ready.  Sure, I was scared, overwhelmed, and panicked. But genuine excitement was the primary emotion I felt when I found out I might be pregnant. And for J, I think the idea that he was going to be a dad was a sobering and invigorating realization. Sort of like driving a car into a brick wall then going out for ice cream.

The second pink line might have been a false alarm, but it was a positive sign for things to come!