The Marinara Incident (AKA: Pregnancy Brain is Real)

I've had a handful of days during the past three weeks when I made it through all 24 hours without vomiting, and even a few glorious periods of time when I didn't feel nauseous at all. During one such evening, I decided to cook lasagna for dinner. I happen to be in possession of the world's easiest lasagna recipe. I know this because it's called "World's Easiest Lasagna Recipe." It's also yummy and mildly healthy since it uses ground turkey instead of meat and cottage cheese instead of ricotta. Also, did I mention it's easy? You don't even have to cook the noodles first. (I'll attach the recipe at the end if you're nice to me).

I drove to our neighborhood store for the first time in a month. I learned early on in my morning sickness that it's pretty difficult to avoid seeing food in the grocery store so I stopped going altogether to avoid any embarrassing gagging incidents. Once there, I grabbed the necessary ingredients for cooking lasagne: noodles, mozzarella, spray-and-wash. Finally, I stopped in the pasta aisle to pick up a jar of pasta sauce.

The one thing I know about the recipe is that you must use a pasta sauce. You cannot use a marinara sauce. I once accidentally used a marinara sauce and the lasagna came out as a watery, soupy mess. I had to throw the entire thing away.

Now, I'm not a decisive under the best circumstances, and somehow pregnancy has made the decision making process all the more difficult. I stared at a shelf holding ten different brands of pasta sauce for about fifteen minutes, trying to figure out which promised a more flavorful culinary experience by comparing labels: a cartoon drawing of tomatoes, pepers, and mushrooms or Paul Newman's head? The only thing I knew for certain was I had to pick up a pasta sauce. Not a marinara sauce. I kept repeating this fact to myself over and over and over again in my mind.

I think you see where this is going.

I eventually settled on a jar, paid for my purchases, and returned home to assemble my dish. An hour later, I removed the aluminum foil and uncovered my pasta to find, you guessed it: a watery, soupy mess.

I turned to my husband.

"How did this happen? I KNOW I didn't grab a marinara sauce. There's no way...."

But sure enough. There it was. Sitting on top of the recycling bin. An empty jar of marinara sauce.

Fortunately, J rushed into action and started spooning excess liquid into the sink. A couple additional minutes of steaming and the lasagna was salvaged.

My brain, however? That's still a watery, soupy mess.

So, as promised, here's the recipe. (FYI, J and I usually halve the recipe and still have three days of leftovers.)

- 1 1/2 (26-ounce) jars of Pasta Sauce (Not marinara sauce...but you already knew that)
- 1 lb ground turkey (I use a bit more 'cause we like it meaty)
- 1 (8-ounce package) dry lasagna noodles (10 strips)
- 1 (16-ounce) container of low-fat cottage cheese
- 2 (8-ounce) packages of mozzarella cheese

* Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
* Spray a 9X13-inch glass dish with non-stick spray
* Cook ground turkey on the stove in a large pan. Salt and pepper to taste.
* Remove from heat and stir in pasta sauce.
* Line the bottom of the lasagna dish with 1/3 of the pasta sauce/meat mixture.
* Lay 5 strips of uncooked lasagna noodles on top of pasta sauce mixture.
* Spread one cup of the cottage cheese over the noodles
* Sprinkle 2/3 of the mozzarella cheese over the cottage cheese.
* Repeat the layers ending with sauce.
* Cover with foil and bake at 375 for 1 hour.

Bon Appétit!